The forest again? A meadow, really? Oh no, another lake… You have been there. You know how it goes. You meant well and it turned out the way these things always turn out. A deckchair and the sound of a bee is plenty for you, and the children, being children, are bored. Fine. Let them have something.
Where shall we start? A husky sledge ride at Traperska Osada in the colder months? Or a falconry display and a go at being an archaeologist at Park Dzieje? Hunting for legends in the Zielonka Forest, or climbing aboard Columbus's Santa Maria, a full-size replica of which stands in the garden of the writer and traveller Arkady Fiedler? A ride on a hand-pumped rail trolley to the Greater Poland Pyramids? Have a look at what we have lined up, and then let one of them try telling you they are bored.
There is no shortage of parks built for children around Poznań. For a shorter visit, try the small ones: the Freshwater Fish Park in Trzcianka, where huge, brightly coloured model fish line the walking and cycling paths beside the lake, or the Mushroom Park in Piłka, which does the same thing with giant mushrooms.
Or spend half a day at one of the bigger places, which are full of things for children to do. The best of them: Deli Park, with a treetop walkway, a famous crocodile and the Pumpkin Festival in autumn; Park Dzieje, with falconry displays, a rope course on a historical theme, a sandpit for young archaeologists and plenty of puppet theatre; and Gród Pobiedziska , a medieval playground and knights' training ground rolled into one.
And if you want to tick off every monument on the Piast Trail in half a day, head for the Piast Trail Miniature Park, also in Pobiedziska.
In the old farm buildings of the Regional and Nature Education Centre in Mniszki in the Lubusz region, or at the National Museum of Agriculture in Szreniawa on the edge of the Greater Poland National Park, your digital natives will see old farm machinery, cars, even aeroplanes. Both run an enormous programme of workshops for adults and children, demonstrations of folk customs, and markets full of local food and craft.
At the Milling Museum in Jaracz you can watch grain turn into flour, and at the Beekeeping Museum in Swarzędz you can look inside a hive and watch the bees at work through glass. And at the Firefighting Museum in Rakoniewice, more than a few grown-ups will remember wanting to be a firefighter.
Another way to travel in time is the Primer Museum in Kuźnica Grabowska, where a 1950s classroom has been reconstructed. There are desks with holes for inkwells, a blackboard for chalk and a hand bell. Professor Marian Falski, who wrote the most widely used Polish reading primer, was a frequent visitor to the manor here. His book gave the country the first sentence every Polish child learns to read: Ala ma kota. Ala has a cat.
The regional favourite. There are a dozen or more traditional hand-pumped trolleys to choose from, and routes of 3 to 11 kilometres (2 to 7 miles) through deep forest and over bridges. The longest one runs to the Greater Poland Pyramids, the largest Bronze Age burial mound cemetery in Europe. You can round the trip off with a campfire.
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A classic day out in the Lubusz region and a treat for anyone interested in history or military engineering. Tens of kilometres of German underground fortifications from the Second World War, open to visit with a guide. It is also a good opportunity to make peace with the thirty thousand bats that live down there and shed a few superstitions about them. They do not drink blood and they do not get tangled in your hair.
If you prefer your animals larger and fluffier than a bat, go to Traperska Osada in Bolechówko and meet their wonderful huskies, or try alpaca therapy at Folwark na Górce in Zwierzyniec.
Ideal for a walk or a bike ride with children, especially if you download the Map of Legends with its twelve wonderful, beautifully illustrated local stories and follow them into the woods. Boards mark the spots: where Anna rescued a man hidden inside a bear skin, or where Lech, Czech and Rus, the legendary brothers said to have founded Poland, Bohemia and Rus, once sat down to feast.
For older children we recommend hunting down the Green Checkpoints in the forests around Poznań. Download and print the old-fashioned maps — on paper rather than on a phone, that is rather the point — along with instructions on how to orient them in the field, HERE.
A tip from Slowhop: one of the best ways to explore around Poznań, and a good source of ideas for days out, is Wielkopolskie Questy. You download the game cards from an app. There is treasure to find and, more to the point, a solid dose of history about the places you end up in.
